![]() It is a very powerful portrayal of thoughts that are usually left unspoken and unshared. We watch her catharsis and the mental work she puts in to reach her own peace with what happened to her. ![]() Throughout Episode 12 ‘Ego Death’, we are presented with all the possible scenarios that run through Arabella’s head. No part of her emotional reaction is hidden from us. Many of these daydreams are violent and revenge focused. Before they find him, she goes through mentally all the possible ways in which she could confront him. Through Arabella, we are seeing that the consequences of rape are varied, individual, devastating, and complicated.Īccompanied by Terry (Weruche Opia), her friend, Arabella decides she wants to find and confront her attacker. We are also privy to the intense anger she starts to experience as she makes these connections. We watch her as she discovers hidden memories and realizes the true extent of the damage that’s been done to her. It took her time to register it as such, and even more time to recall details and specifics about the perpetrator. The discovery process that Arabella went through was also non-linear she experienced flashbacks and confusion, and for much of the time she was unclear about her assault. Examples of this include Arabella finding a blood clot when trying to have sex whilst on her period and having to explain to her hookup that this is normal, and her inability to focus on anything she wants to do and this being taken at face value and regarded as an inadequacy. In so many scenes I found myself taken aback by the candid narrative. The other way in which this show was exceptionally written lies in its details and commitment to the authentic portrayal of women’s lives. This is heart-breaking, but is so good to see represented. They simply assume she is lazy or difficult. There is no romanticism in the reaction of those around her-nobody is insisting there is something wrong or that she is behaving out of character. This, too, is an intensely honest display of how somebody might be treated before disclosing their assault. Arabella’s employers completely miss the signs that something is seriously wrong, despite her showing up to work with a cut on her forehead, and instead start to push her and ask why her work is taking so long. It is well-documented that this kind of flashback is very typical in sexual assault victims, but I have never seen the experience displayed quite so authentically on-screen.Īrabella continues to show up to work, and, unlike other shows that often romanticise the support and care show by others before the assault is even disclosed, I May Destroy You really gives us an insight into how alone and isolated survivors can feel. Triggered by things in her everyday life, such as opening her door, the flashbacks and intense and Arabella is disturbed. The experience comes back to her in fragments, but she does not immediately piece them together into an understanding of what happened. Soon after she starts to experience flashbacks of an attack that happened to her in the bathroom of the venue she had visited with her friends. Arabella and Terry, I May Destroy You (Photograph by Natalie Seery/HBO) She is already having flashbacks of things that happened during the night. She seems concerned and uncomfortable, and has damage to her phone that she can’t remember happening. However, as time progresses, she begins to question the friends she was out with-asking questions about the night and about how the night ended. She stumbles into work early in the morning after going out seeming disorientated and hungover, but there is not yet any indication that anything is really wrong. Nevertheless, she seems happy, carefree, and broadly as though her life is going well.Įverything changes after a night out. She has an important deadline coming up, but seems to be behind with her draft. She is spending time with her friends, has just been on holiday in Italy, and seems to be enjoying her job. ![]() We first meet Arabella as a young writer enjoying her life. The show also touches upon stealthing, police disinterest, and the importance of support networks. We are also given insight into the lives of her peers, some of whom are also in sexually exploitative situations. The story follows her as she pieces together what has happened to her and considers the emotional fallout of the experience. She is a girl who has been assaulted in a bar, and is now suffering the deep-seated consequences of the attack.
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